Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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