So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
