A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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