I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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