When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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