I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
