When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
