Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
