The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
