I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
