i barfeds in our rink
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize