I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize