It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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