haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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