Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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