you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
