I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
