he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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