New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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