I wish my penis had an off switch
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
