if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
