a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Alive.
So much puke
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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