absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
