Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
