brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
