in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
