no. you can't hotbox the world.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
