You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
