then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We just shotgunned beers for America
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
