so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
