Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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