I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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