4 words: hood of his car
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize