Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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