I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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