ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she looked like the before picture.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
