the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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