found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
