found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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