I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
