careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
