honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
