my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
