took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
