I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
