sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
