I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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