Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
