Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
