And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
