problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
