If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
