Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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