i need an iv and a liver transplant
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
