Tell her she can't have a vagina
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
