I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
