So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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