I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize