I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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