Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
