Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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