I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
