i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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