East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we should paint friendship bongs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
