ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
