I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
