The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just had sex on a roof
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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