Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize