TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
