alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can you repeat that, but with context?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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