Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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