Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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