Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
