Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
