I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
