The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my poor anus
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
