who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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