Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
