Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
