AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
