We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Mom said you looked used
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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