I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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