My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize