I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
