no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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